Debbie sipped her hot morning tea from the balcony taking in the misty fog that had engulfed the air. She lived in a three-storey apartment that sat in a quiet serene neighborhood. Debbie chose this apartment because of one element- the balcony. The balcony she believed was her extension to the outside world. As she leaned on one of the metal frames, she tightly grasped the cup hoping that its warmth would create some sort of relief from the cold. Maybe by doing so she could stay outside long enough. For reasons unknown to her – in a bittersweet way – she enjoyed the feeling of her cheeks getting cold. It could be because it numbed her. Numbed the pain she felt for being not more than she wanted. When she looked above in the limitless sky, she whimpered. Maybe because it swallowed all the dreams and castle she built in it. In her solitude, Debbie sank.

It had become usual for her to awake early from the time her two year old son was born. Debbie was never a morning person but raising her son had made her shift allegiances from her sleep gods. It was tough adopting her new found routine of being cooped up in the house. Time in the balcony brought her a sense of sanity to her otherwise boring life. Not that she did not love her son, but what if she was more than a mom. What would or could she be? Would she feel more accomplished? Maybe, maybe not she pondered. The cold air made her feel unjudged of her state of being a stay at home mom. In a way, she believed it offered a similar sentence to all- those going to work and those at home or she thought.

She stretched her neck to check the time through her window from the black wall clock that hang in her living room. It was 6.00. As she stood in the balcony, she anxiously waited for Ella to show up. Ella was her downstairs neighbor. From her balcony tradition, Debbie had developed a peculiar interest in observing her. This watch behavior towards Ella sought to distract her from the mediocre woman she believed she was. Debbie preferred being an unknown stalker of some sorts. Perhaps because she could quench her yearning by watching Ella. To her Ella was her parallel version a reflection of what she believed she should be.

Debbie then heard the car alarm beeping downstairs. She saw her, in a pink fitted skirt suit that accentuated her curves, her braids neatly styled in a ponytail. With her black stiletto heels she paced around the car on a call – probably talking to her fellow colleague.

“Yes Dan, I need those files on my desk before the client comes. I cannot afford any mishaps on this one,” Ella spoke eloquently as she opened the car door. Her nails were well manicured with nude kind of polish and her expensive perfume wafted on Debbie’s nose. Ella was always on time. At exactly 6.30 she was out of the house headed to work.

Debbie continued to steal glances at her. “She probably has a big job in a large corporate company. How life must be good for her. What if I had such a job or any job for that matter.” Debbie wondered.

“Mama! Mamaa !…”Debbie’s son Enoch called out half-crying.

“Huuuh,” she heaved, “Till tomorrow my dearest balcony.”

She went inside and picked her son up and changed his heavily soaked diaper. She sat him on his feeding chair and gave him a piece of toy to play with. As she prepared breakfast for Enoch, thoughts of Ella lingered. It did not matter anyway, nothing was going to change even if she thought of her life as Ella’s. The day passed without nothing usual for Debbie. It was the same old everyday routine she had gotten used to – wake up, tea in the balcony, feed and play with Enoch, do some laundry and may be go grocery shopping if need be and the sun would set in the West.

***

The next morning she went to the balcony. She stood there for sometime then looked at her wall clock it was 7.00. “It is unusual for her not to be out by this time. But no matter one can get late once in a while. “

Her thoughts were cut short when she had a knock at the door. She reluctantly made her way to the door dragging her feet through the living room carpet. She did not like the idea that somebody was interrupting her solitude. Debbie opened the door and there she was in all her glory. Ella was right in front of her.

“I am so sorry to knock this early. I hope I didn’t wake you up?” She asked politely

“No, not at all, how can I help you?” Debbie replied half-surprised half-calm.

“I have found myself quite in a fix. My nanny just quit on me and I have some files I need to drop at the office. I was wondering if it would be okay with you to help me watch over my son for a few hours,” Ella explained frantically.

” Oh! no problem just bring him. Enoch could use a friend. ”

“Are you sure? I would really feel bad to impose this on you”

“You don’t worry one bit. You do all you need to do today it’s totally okay. Besides, I am drained playing piggy rides with Enoch all the time. Now he will have somebody to exert his never-ending energy.” Debbie replied jokingly.

“Okay.. .thank you so much, let me bring him up in a jiffy. “

Debbie stood there still in shock maybe unsure of what was happening.

Ella quickly brought her son.

“You be a good boy to aunty Debbie, Lexi.”

“Don’t you worry he will be fine. Just relax and go to work.”

“Thank you sooo muuch. You are a life-saver. You really don’t know much you have helped me.”

“Coome on! It’s nothing. I promise,” Debbie gleefully assured her- almost not believing the complements she was getting.

Ella blew kisses at her son and started to walk away. When Debbie was about to close her door, Ella quickly hugged her.

“You are such such a wonderful soul. I would give anything to be just like you. To be in my house, taking care of my son,” She spoke sadly. “You’re an amazing mom. Thank you for today, I won’t forget it.”

Debbie was dumbfounded and stood still like a concrete pole not knowing how to react.

“Well, bye for now. I will pick him up later and just call me in case of any emergency. Bye bye Lexi!” Ella spoke as she rushed down the stairs.

Debbie closed the door.

***

The next morning Debbie went to the balcony with her tea in hand. She grasped the cold air in her small nostrils and closed her eyes. She heard the car alarm beep but this time she did not look down. The cold air felt different. Maybe, maybe not. “Mamaa! Mamaa!” Enoch cried out. Debbie smiled and ran towards her son.